Okay… Get ready for this one! You may know already that I love flipping fear! (As revealed in the book: “God, Show Me More of You!”) 😨 🙏🙌🤸♀️🤩
Well, how about flipping our unmet expectations? 😲🌸🥹
Have you ever noticed how quickly unmet expectations can send us on an emotional rollercoaster? Up with hope. Down with disappointment. Round and round…
Perhaps:
- You hoped someone would notice your efforts, but no one seems to see it.
- You expected an invitation, but it never came.
- You wish someone would offer help instead of always waiting for you to ask.
- You hoped your adult child would include you more in their life.
- You expected a heartfelt thank-you, but all you received was silence.
Or pick something else that comes to mind for you!
It’s easy to get caught up in what someone isn’t doing. But what if we paused and asked a different question?
“What would it bring me if this person fulfilled my expectation?”
Now we’re getting somewhere!
For example:
- I wish someone would notice how much I do. What I’m really longing for is to feel appreciated.
- I wish I had been included. Deep down, I want to feel like I belong.
- I wish someone would offer to help. I’m longing to feel supported and not alone.
- I wish my adult child would reach out more. I’m longing for connection and reassurance that our relationship matters.
Do you see the pattern?
Often, underneath our expectations is a deeper longing.
Sometimes:
- Our need to be included is connected to a desire for belonging.
- Our frustration when things don’t go as planned is connected to a need for security.
- Our desire for appreciation is connected to wanting to know that we matter.
- Our reluctance to ask for help is connected to a longing to feel cared for.
What if we took that longing to Jesus?
(This is how we begin to flip things…)
People are important. Healthy relationships, communication, appreciation, and mutual care matter. We’re not meant to pretend our needs don’t exist or that others’ behaviour never affects us.
But people cannot carry the responsibility of fulfilling every longing in our hearts.
Instead, Jesus invites us to bring those deeper desires to Him.
Yes, we’ve read this before…
He sees us. He reminds us of our worth when we feel overlooked.
Psalm 139:1–4 reminds us that God knows us completely. He knows our thoughts, our words, and where we are. We are never overlooked by Him.
We belong to Him. He welcomes us when we feel left out.
Ephesians 1:4–6 reminds us that, through Christ, we are chosen and adopted into God’s family. Our belonging isn’t something we have to earn.
He cares about what concerns us. He is present when we feel alone or unsupported.
1 Peter 5:7 invites us to cast our anxieties on Him because He cares for us.
His love is secure. He is our security when life feels uncertain.
Romans 8:38–39 reminds us that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
The challenge?
We may know these truths in our heads, but have we learned to experience them in our hearts?
This is where listening in prayer becomes such a beautiful invitation!
Rather than simply telling ourselves that Jesus loves us, what if we paused and asked Him to show us how He sees us and how He wants to meet us in the very place we’re longing for something more?
Let’s Try Flipping It!
Think of one unmet expectation in your life right now.
Instead of focusing on what the other person isn’t doing, ask yourself:
1. What am I really longing for?
What would it mean to me if this expectation were fulfilled?
2. Jesus, what core desire or longing would You like to meet in me today?
Pause. Listen. Journal what comes…
3. Lord, how would You like to meet that longing?
Give yourself time to listen.
Perhaps a Scripture, a picture, a memory, or a simple thought comes to mind. Bring what you receive back to the truth of Scripture and notice the fruit it produces.
Philippians 4:6–7 encourages us to bring everything to God in prayer, with thanksgiving, and receive His peace.
What a wonderful invitation!
An Example…
I wish my friends would include me more in their plans.
What I’m really longing for is belonging. I want to know that I am wanted and that I matter to others.
So I ask Jesus:
“Lord, how would You like to meet my longing for belonging today?”
And perhaps I hear:
“My child, you belong with Me.
I delight in you.
You are never an afterthought to Me.
I have room for you.
You are wanted and loved.”
😭🙌
What happens when we begin to receive THAT love?
We may find ourselves less driven by the need to get a particular response from someone else. We can communicate our needs more freely, establish healthy boundaries, and love others without making them responsible for our worth.
We can also become more intentional about extending the very love we are learning to receive.
Colossians 3:12–14 encourages us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love.
When Jesus meets us in the deeper places of our hearts, HE IS OUR CLOTHING, and our expectations of others can begin to shift.
…Not because relationships no longer matter, but because we’re no longer asking people to be what only Jesus can be.
So, here’s my question for you…
What unmet expectation could become an invitation to a deeper encounter with Jesus today?
Don’t just think about it. Ask Him!
Listen. Journal. Receive…
And enjoy discovering what He wants you to know. 🤩🥰🙏🌸
Meet with a trained coach to walk with you through this process.
Merri Ellen 🙂
Meet with a trained coach to walk with you through this process above!
Join other hungry women seeking the Lord together.
Enjoy the books: “God, Show Me What You See”
or “God, Show Me More of You“
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