Following and Trusting : Encountering God Out of the Box

Have you ever found yourself on the brink of something good—an opportunity, a relationship, or a step toward growth—only to pull back, make an excuse, or create a problem where there wasn’t one?

Have you ever noticed yourself avoiding the very things you prayed for?

Perhaps an opportunity arises, yet instead of embracing it, you retreat, delay, or create obstacles for yourself.

This is the subtle yet destructive cycle of self-sabotage. For many women of faith, self-sabotage is a defense mechanism rooted in fear, unhealed wounds, or feelings of unworthiness.

But here’s the truth: self-sabotage is not part of God’s plan for you. He desires to lead you into freedom, fullness, and the abundant life promised in Christ (John 10:10).

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is any behavior that hinders you from moving forward in life. It often stems from inner doubts or past hurts. Instead of stepping into the blessings God has for us, we might unconsciously create barriers of self-protection: procrastination, perfectionism, overthinking, or even saying “no” to opportunities we prayed for.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

1. Fear of Failure or Success
   We might fear falling short or the responsibility success brings. Either way, we allow fear to dictate our actions instead of trusting God’s promises (2 Timothy 1:7).
   
2. Feelings of Unworthiness
   Deep down, we might not feel worthy of God’s blessings or believe we are capable of handling them. Yet, Scripture reminds us that we are chosen, loved, and redeemed (Ephesians 1:4-7).
   
3. Unresolved Wounds
   Past rejections or failures can create a narrative that keeps us from taking risks. Self-sabotage becomes a way of avoiding potential pain, but it also blocks healing and growth.
   
4. Control
   Sometimes, sabotaging ourselves feels safer than trusting the unknown. But this desire for control often keeps us stuck and disconnected from God’s leading (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Recognizing the Patterns

Self-sabotage can happen in many ways, including:

• Procrastination: Delaying what God has called you to do because you don’t feel “ready.” (I have done this myself when it came to writing my books. Then, I realized that I was being selfish in NOT sharing what God is doing in my life and in the lives of my clients! So, I hired a book coach and editor. It took a bit to find the right one who shared my vision but I persevered. When I did, multiple books flew out as a result.)
  
• Overcommitment: Filling your schedule to avoid facing what truly matters. (I see this a ton in my culture. So many overwork themselves often to avoid addressing their heart needs. This only leads to burnout.)
  
• Negative Self-Talk: Dismissing your abilities or worth with phrases like, “I’m not good enough.”
  
• Avoidance: Ignoring opportunities, relationships, or challenges because they feel too risky.

God’s Invitation to Freedom

God doesn’t want us to live trapped by self-sabotage. He invites us into healing and freedom through His truth, love, and grace.

1. Surrender the Root Causes
   Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what lies beneath your self-sabotaging behaviors. Is it fear? Insecurity? A lack of trust? Bring these to God in prayer, knowing He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
   
2. Renew Your Mind
   Scripture is a powerful tool for breaking free from destructive patterns. Replace lies with God’s truth:

• “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
• “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
• “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

1. Take Small Steps of Obedience
   Breaking free from self-sabotage doesn’t happen overnight. Start with small steps of faith, trusting God to meet you in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
   
2. Seek Accountability
   Invite trusted friends or mentors, or a life coach and spiritual director to pray for you and hold you accountable as you move forward. Sometimes we need others to remind us of God’s promises when doubt creeps in (Hebrews 10:24-25).
   
3. Celebrate Progress
   Each step of growth is worth celebrating. Thank God for the courage to move beyond old patterns and embrace His plans for your life (Jeremiah 29:11).

A Prayer for Overcoming Self-Sabotage

“Father, I see the ways I have held myself back from Your plans. I surrender my fears, doubts, and need for control to You. Heal my heart. Renew my mind with Your truth and help me to walk in obedience, trusting that You are working all things for my good. Thank You for Your love, grace, and patience as I step into the freedom You have for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.“

God has created you for a purpose far greater than you can imagine. Don’t let self-sabotage keep you from experiencing the fullness of His promises. Let today be the day you say “yes” to His plans and trust Him to lead you into freedom.

Need further help walking forward?
See links below…

By the way, I’m glad I finally STOPPED delaying publishing this post. LOL 😀

Merri Ellen Giesbrecht

Life Coach & Spiritual Director / www.merriellen.com

Dig Deeper:

See the book: “God, Show Me More of You” (This book is filled with heart healing stories and prayer activations.)

Need a safe, loving community of women who are hungry to hear God? Learn more about the Freedom Coaching Circle.

Need someone to guide you through further heart healing? Learn more about private sessions.