How to End Things :(

traintracks.end

I always thought you had to be FOREVER faithful to people, programs, and institutions to the very end. (One of my key values is loyalty and integrity.) Sadly, I learned the hard way some things and relationships must come to an end. Ouch. Sigh. After years of investing in some thing and someone, if there is no fruit, one must seek the Lord on what to do. Sometimes, He calls us to release.

We are called to be faithful to Jesus first and foremost.

“Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them well. Although we need them for good results to happen and for bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans often avoid them or botch them.

• We hang on too long when we should end something now.
• We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if “it” or “he/she” is fixable.
• We are afraid of the unknown.
• We are afraid of hurting someone.
• We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending.
• We do not possess the skills to execute the ending.
• We do not even know the right words to use.
• We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one.
• When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we swing or flounder.
• We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over.”

– Dr. Henry Cloud

A few years ago, I read Henry’s book on “Necessary Endings”. It set me free from some slavery to unhealthy situations, after two attempted mediations.

If this sounds like your situation, you may want to read his book too…

2 Comments

  1. In my 73 years of life, I’ve had many endings.
    Leaving 23 schools from grade on to high school didn’t teach me how to leave gracefully. And then, neither did any of my Bible College, tech school and three university experiences teach me the ideal way to exit. My bumpy career was filled with leavings, usually by my own choice.
    But my latest separation was from my husband of almost 45 years. He’d had systemic lupus for almost thirty years and his death released him from pain and me from the constant care and concern. Of course, I had had a number of “pastors” and friends recommend deserting him, but that was not for me. It was almost five years ago and my grief has turned to relief.

    Like

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