Have you ever noticed when you slip into criticism?
A snarky comment.
A judgmental thought.
A subtle eye roll.
A quiet but harsh internal critique of someone else’s choices, personality, or weaknesses.
Many of us do it without even thinking.
But, the Lord began to show me something deeper:
Criticism is often a mask.
A shield.
A hiding place.
Not from others—but from ourselves.
Why We Become Critical?
Understanding why we criticize has been another game changer.
When we judge others…
When we pick apart their choices…
When we elevate ourselves by lowering someone else…
It’s rarely about them.
It’s about us.
Criticism and judgment are often self-protective behaviours we learned long ago—habits formed to keep us from feeling exposed.
We criticize to:
- hide our own insecurities
- shift attention away from our internal shame
- avoid facing parts of ourselves that feel unworthy
- deflect from the areas we secretly don’t want others to see
- manage the fear of being “found out,” rejected, or misunderstood
In other words:
We judge others to avoid facing ourselves.
And shame is at the centre of this.
When Criticism Shows Up, Pause Instead of Pounce
The next time a critical thought rises in you—and it will—pause.
Instead of assuming you’re discerning something about someone else…
Ask Jesus whether He’s inviting you to discern something about your own heart.
A simple, honest question can open up the deepest healing:
“Jesus, what am I hiding or hiding from?”
Let Him show you:
- the wound
- the fear
- the insecurity
- the lie
- the part of you that feels unworthy of love
This isn’t about shame—it’s about freedom.
When Others Are Critical or Judgmental Toward You
Just as criticism in our own hearts usually comes from hidden shame or unhealed wounds… the same is true when others criticize us.
Their words often reveal more about their internal pain than about your identity or worth.
So how do we respond?
1. Ask God for His Perspective
Instead of reacting or internalizing the criticism, pause and pray:
“Jesus, how do You see me in this moment?”
“What is true about me right now?”
Let His voice be louder than theirs.
2. Ask God What’s Beneath Their Behavior
This isn’t about excusing sin—it’s about gaining spiritual insight.
“Lord, what wound or fear is driving their criticism?”
“How can I pray for them according to Your heart?”
Often, He’ll show you their fear, shame, or insecurity—so you can pray from compassion, not reaction.
3. Bless, Don’t Battle
When someone is critical, their spirit is often in pain.
Instead of defending yourself, try blessing their spirit – not aloud to them but quietly to the Lord:
“In Jesus’ name, I bless your spirit with God’s peace, love, and truth.”
“I bless you to know you are loved, safe, and seen by God.”
Blessing bypasses the argument and ministers straight to their heart.
4. Release Their Words From Your Spirit
Whatever harsh or unfair words were spoken over you—release them.
Pray:
“Jesus, I break agreement with every false word spoken over me.
I release their judgment from my spirit, soul, and body.
Fill me with Your truth instead.”
You’re not required to carry someone else’s brokenness.
5. Ask God If There Is Anything He Wants You to Learn
Sometimes He simply says:
“This is not about you.”
Other times, He gently reveals an area of growth.
Either way—you learn from Him, not from shame.
Let Jesus Into the Place You’re Afraid to Face
Whether the criticism is coming from you or toward you, healing begins with Jesus.
When we allow Him to tend to the hidden corners of our hearts, something holy happens:
The shame loses power.
The walls soften.
The need to criticize fades.
And suddenly…
we begin to see others as He sees them—with tender compassion, not comparison.
Listening Prayer: When You Criticize Others
“Jesus, when I criticize others, what am I hiding?
What part of me feels ashamed or unworthy?
What do You want to heal in my heart so I can see through love instead of fear?”
Listen to what comes and let Holy Spirit lead you.
Listening Prayer: When Others Criticize You
“Jesus, what is true about me right now?”
“What wound or fear might be driving their criticism?”
“How are You inviting me to bless them?”
“What lie do I need to release, and what truth do You want to give me instead?”
Listen to what comes and let Holy Spirit lead you.
Sit with His answers.
Let His love settle your heart.
Because in His presence, shame loses its voice.
And love—perfect, liberating love—takes over.
Blessing Prayer for You
Beloved child of God,
I bless your heart right now in Jesus’ name.
I bless your spirit to rise strong, steady, and secure under the gaze of your loving Father.
May the Lord reveal the places where criticism or shame has tried to hide you, and may His gentleness draw every hidden part into the light of His healing love.
I bless you to see yourself as He sees you—holy, chosen, deeply cherished, fully known.
I bless your ears to hear His truth above every human opinion.
I bless your eyes to see others with compassion, and your heart to stay tender, confident, and free.
May the peace of Christ guard your mind,
the compassion of Christ guide your responses,
and the love of Christ define your identity.
Walk in freedom.
Walk in joy.
Walk in His love—today and always.
Amen.
Merri Ellen 🙂
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