I’ve noticed something.
Maybe you have too.
There’s a pattern that some of us are starting to name out loud—especially when it comes to conversations with some generations or circles.
You sit down for coffee.
You hope to connect.
You’re longing for a moment to exhale and be seen.
But instead, the conversation turns into a one-way monologue.
You hear gossip. Complaining.
Unsolicited advice. Opinions on what you should believe, think, or feel.
And you leave the table more drained than filled.
Does this sound familiar?
What’s Missing?
What’s often missing is simple, sacred presence.
A question like:
“How are you doing, really?”
Or:
“What’s stirring in your heart these days?”
What’s missing is space.
The kind that doesn’t demand your agreement or compliance—just your honesty.
What’s missing is listening.
Not with half an ear, but with full-hearted attention and compassion.
(And …Yes, this pattern has to do with a generation who has felt unheard.)
Growing up in a small fellowship of believers, I now reflect on the luxury of a handful of prayer warrior women who would even host tea parties for us kids and who would look into my little girl eyes and ask me:
“How are you doing, really?”
They wouldn’t turn away but instead, pause, look, and listen.
Sometimes, they would put their gentle hands on my shoulders, look into my eyes, and joyfully smile so big as they listened to my little girl heart.
I see now how this shaped me.
Recently, I was visiting my parents in my Saskatchewan childhood home, enjoying breakfast with them. A song came on the radio that was from my childhood. As I ate the oatmeal my mom prepared, I got emotional as I sensed God speaking to me now through the song lyrics that He’s always been lovingly watching me and watching over me.
God sees us and hears our hearts.
He is with us.
He is present and not distracted.
At one point, while we were eating together, I felt prompted to ask my folks some questions about when they first met in the 60’s. Both mom and dad’s spirits came alive and I got to hear their beautiful stories. Dad got emotional as He described what felt like God orchestrated a Divine meeting of my mom. He said,
“It was as if God had each of us in His hands and brought His hands together.”
It was a sacred moment.
I was reminded of how asking heart questions can bring about treasure.
The Luxury of Being Heard
I’ve hosted events and gatherings with women where listening hearts are the norm.
Compassion flows.
Tears come freely.
Hearts open in safety.
And more than once, I’ve had someone pull me aside and say:
“Merri Ellen, don’t take this for granted.”
I’m learning not to.
Because the truth is—there are women who have never experienced that kind of soul space.
They’ve spent decades being talked at instead of listened to.
Told what to think instead of invited to reflect.
Corrected instead of comforted.
It’s no wonder some hearts feel cold or closed.
We don’t thrive when we’re constantly silenced or steered.
We thrive when we’re heard and held.
The Jesus Way
When we walk closely with Jesus—who is always present, always attentive—it changes us.
His presence isn’t forceful or loud.
It’s kind.
It’s attuned.
“You see me, and you know me.” — Psalm 139 (paraphrased)
If we’re walking with that kind of Savior, how can we not learn to listen like Him?
What Kind of Space Are We Creating?
Are we rushing to give answers before hearts have even been revealed?
Are we offering advice when what’s really needed is eye contact, silence, and a warm mug between hands?
Are we leaving others with more weight or with more freedom?
An Invitation to Shift
If you’ve found yourself in circles where you don’t feel heard—take heart.
God hears you. Always.
And if you’re in a season to be that listening ear for others—take it seriously.
It’s sacred work.
Because in a world full of noise, your quiet presence may be someone’s first taste of the kindness of God.
Reflection Questions:
- Who in your life might need a space like that today?
- Ask Jesus: “How do You want to listen to me today?”
- And then: “Who are You inviting me to listen to without fixing or rushing?”
Let’s be women who don’t just talk at each other—
Let’s listen each other back to life.
Come, explore with us as we encourage each other in the heart of God.
Dig Deeper…
Connect with us for a space to listen together
Merri Ellen Giesbrecht / www.merriellen.com
Following and Trusting : Encountering God Out of the Box 
Leave a reply to Heather Congrove Cancel reply