Following and Trusting : Encountering God Out of the Box

Responding with Grace: How to Handle Unloving Actions and Words with God’s Guidance

Life inevitably brings moments when someone’s actions or words hurt us. As women of faith, we know we’re called to rise above, but how can we actually respond in a way that brings peace to our hearts and honors God? The truth is, when our own hearts are healed and grounded in God’s love, we are more equipped to extend compassion—even in challenging situations. Here’s a transformative process to help you respond gracefully when others fall short of kindness.

Your first response may be to discredit how simple this could be. I get it. Without God’s supernatural love in this process, yup it is totally worthless.

(Again, the following process is affective after you’ve started doing your own heart healing with the Lord from your own childhood heart wounds. See the links at the bottom for help.)

WITH God’s presence guiding you FROM His love within your own healed heart, this process is incredibly powerful…

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1: Pause and Ask Jesus to Stand Between You and Them

When you feel the sting of someone’s unloving words or actions, take a moment to pause. In that quiet space, visualize Jesus standing between you and the other person. This simple action helps you to see things through His eyes and invites His presence to protect your heart from taking on unnecessary pain.

2: Seek the Holy Spirit’s Comfort

Ask the Holy Spirit to comfort and calm your heart. He is indeed the Comforter and longs to bring you peace. By asking Him to tend to your emotions, you allow healing to begin and prevent the hurt from festering.

3: Ask God About Their Heart

After you’ve centered yourself, ask God to reveal any wounds in the other person’s heart that are hiding behind their behaviour. Often, the things people say and do come from places of pain that stretch back into their past. While we don’t excuse harmful actions, understanding this can open the door to compassion. You may find that they’re reacting from unresolved wounds of their own.

4: Listen to Jesus’ Prayers for Them

Consider how Jesus might be interceding for this person right now. Listen for what He might be praying for their healing and growth. Understanding Jesus’ heart toward them softens ours and can shift our perspective from frustration to empathy.

5: Quietly Pray for Them

In your heart, pray for the other person as the Lord leads you. Lift them up to God and ask for His healing, love, and guidance in their life. This prayer not only strengthens your own heart but can be a blessing for them as well. 

6: Seek God’s Direction for Any Next Steps

Finally, ask Jesus if there’s anything further He’s inviting you to do with the person. This might mean having an honest conversation, extending further grace and forgiveness, or implementing a boundary. Reconciliation doesn’t always mean mending every relationship to its former state; sometimes it’s about creating healthy boundaries while releasing any resentment.

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Why This Process Matters

This approach isn’t about simply ignoring harmful behavior but is instead rooted in heart healing. When you have invited Jesus to address your own childhood wounds and hurts, you create a solid foundation for handling life’s difficulties with grace and resilience. The more often you turn to Jesus for your own heart healing, the more natural this process becomes in your interactions with others.

Dig Deeper into Heart Healing

If you’re new to this type of inner healing or need further guidance, here are some ways to deepen your journey:

– Read the “God, Show Me…” Books on Heart Healing: These resources guide you through the process of healing past wounds with God’s help.

– Reach Out for Support: Sometimes, heart healing is best navigated in community. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from trusted friends, mentors, or for a private session with one of our coaches.

– Gather with Other Women of Faith: Join our Freedom Circle groups or other circles where you can share, grow, and pray together. Having a community that understands the power of prayer and heart healing is invaluable.

When we handle conflict and unloving actions with God’s wisdom, we not only protect our own hearts but also become instruments of peace. As you adopt this lifestyle of inviting Jesus into your heart wounds, watch how your responses and relationships shift toward grace and healing.

Merri Ellen Giesbrecht

Life Coach & Spiritual Director

Learn more here:
www.merriellen.com