Recently, while I was leading women through a listening prayer exercise in the Freedom Coaching Circle (our zoom groups for women), the Lord highlighted to me that I was minimizing my journey because of the intense things I was finding myself walking others through. I felt the Lord was saying to me that He sees my journey too and WANTS to talk with me about it.

This got me thinking further…

Many of us have learned to minimize our pain as a coping mechanism. Phrases like, “It wasn’t that bad” or “It’s just a little bit of hurt” can be ways we brush over deep emotional wounds to avoid confronting them. But while minimizing might protect us in the short term, it prevents the healing God desires to bring.

Minimizing: A Defense Mechanism

Minimizing is when we downplay our feelings or experiences, convincing ourselves that our pain isn’t worth addressing. We may say things like, “Other people have it worse,” or “It’s not a big deal.” But God cares deeply about every part of our hearts—big or small—and He desires to bring healing to all of it.

We often use minimization because facing our true emotions can feel overwhelming. We fear that acknowledging the depth of our pain might open a floodgate we can’t control. So, instead, we try to diminish it, even telling ourselves that we’re being “strong” by pushing through.

But minimizing isn’t strength—it’s avoidance. And God invites us to bring our wounds to Him with Him by our side.

Biblical Example: Hagar in the Desert

In Genesis 16, Hagar, pregnant and rejected by Sarai, runs into the desert. She could have minimized her pain and suffering, telling herself, “It’s just how things are” or “It’s not that bad.” But instead, God saw her in her distress and sent His angel to minister to her. The angel didn’t minimize Hagar’s pain—he acknowledged it and brought God’s promise to her.

Hagar then called God, “El Roi,” which means “the God who sees me.” She realized that God cared deeply about her suffering, and He saw her exactly where she was.

This is the same God we serve today. He sees you, and He doesn’t want you to minimize your pain. He wants to meet you in it.

The Danger of Minimizing

When we minimize our pain, we prevent ourselves from experiencing the fullness of God’s healing. By saying, “It wasn’t that bad,” we shut the door to the restoration that God wants to bring. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Notice it says all—not just the big things, but even the “little” anxieties and pains we try to ignore.

When we minimize, we reject the healing hand of God and deny ourselves the freedom He offers. In essence, we’re telling God, “This pain isn’t worth Your attention.” But that’s a lie. Everything that weighs on our hearts is important to God.

Jesus and the Woman at the Well

Consider the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4. She had many layers of pain and brokenness in her life, which she could have minimized. But Jesus gently brought her pain to the surface—her failed relationships and rejection from multiple men, her sense of shame—and He didn’t dismiss any of it. He met her at the well, offering her living water and the fullness of life, addressing the heart of her wounds.

Jesus is inviting you to the well today. He doesn’t want you to brush off your pain with, “It wasn’t that bad.” He wants to bring healing, just as He did for the Samaritan woman.

God’s Promises for Healing

Throughout Scripture, we see that God doesn’t minimize our pain—He meets us in it and offers us restoration:

• Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
• Isaiah 61:1: “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.”
• Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

God wants to take even the parts of your heart that you’ve dismissed or minimized and bring full restoration.

Listening Prayer Activation: The Woman at the Well

Take a moment to quiet your heart before God. Imagine yourself in the story of the woman at the well (John 4). See Jesus approach you in your place of need, as He did with her.

Ask Him these questions:

• “Jesus, what part of my heart have I been minimizing?”
• “How have I downplayed my pain in a way that has kept me from receiving healing?”
• “What are You inviting me to surrender to You today?”

Let Jesus speak to your heart, showing you where you’ve minimized and offering you the living water that brings deep healing.

Let’s Journey Together

If you’ve been living with minimized pain and want to experience the fullness of God’s healing, I would love to journey with you. I’m happy to do that with you through the books, or reach out for a private session where we can pray together and invite God into those places you’ve kept hidden or dismissed. (See links below.)

Remember: Your pain is never too small for God’s attention. He sees you, and He longs to heal your heart.

Merri Ellen Giesbrecht

Life Coach & Spiritual Director

Read the chapter on the Woman at the Well in the book: “God, Show Me More of You”

Need a beautiful Tribe? Join with encouraging women in hearing God together: www.freedomcoachingcircle.ca

Connect for a private session here: www.coachinginfreedom.com

For more info: www.merriellen.com