Understanding Teasing: A Journey from Pain and Fear to Love

Growing up, teasing was a familiar presence in my life. I vividly recall the torment of being teased by a couple of boys in school, the sting of their words cutting deep into my young heart. It was a harrowing experience, one that left me feeling isolated and desperate for relief.

I remember a pivotal moment in grade 5 when I reached my breaking point. As I prepared for a ball game, I made a silent plea to God, declaring that if the evening didn’t bring joy, I was ready to give up. But to my surprise, the game turned out to be a beacon of light amidst the darkness, filled with the warmth of camaraderie and genuine affection from my teammates.

Reflecting on those painful experiences, I’ve come to realize that teasing often masks deeper emotions. It can be a shield, a defense mechanism wielded by those who fear rejection or struggle with their own insecurities. Sometimes, teasing is an attempt to establish connection, a playful dance of affection veiled behind a facade of bravado.

But teasing isn’t always empty. It can also be a weapon, used to assert power or inflict harm. It’s a complex dance of emotions, a delicate balance between love and fear, connection and rejection.

As I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve found myself both on the giving and receiving end of teasing. This year, I found myself asking the Lord to take me to various memories of being teased as a young girl to show me the spirit behind each person who dished out the teasing. I’ve also asked the Lord to show me the spirit behind the teasing that I myself dished out to others, and to pour out healing on those people I may have hurt. It’s been a powerful healing process. And with each encounter, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of its complexities.

I’ve learned that teasing can be a misguided attempt at expressing love, a hesitant gesture born out of fear of rejection.

Recognizing this, I want to refuse to let fear dictate my actions. I’m committed to walking in love, to embracing vulnerability and authenticity in my interactions with others. I’m determined to flip the script on fear and embrace a future filled with love, compassion, and genuine connection.

I want to be a person who walks in LOVE and NOT fear.



(See chapter 9 in the book about “Flip Your Fear” in God, Show Me More of You.)

So, I invite you to join me in this exploration...

What are your thoughts on teasing?

How has it shaped your own experiences and relationships?

Further help:

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2 responses to “Understanding Teasing: A Journey from Pain and Fear to Love”

  1. I really like how Holy Spirit prompted you to ask what spirit is behind the teasing. Every motive has a spirit behind it. Someone close to my family came to mind. And how their teasing was most likely coming from a spirit of rejection. It’s how this person got attention because they didn’t know how to receive love and attention. I also think about sarcasm. How ugly and demeaning it can be when taken too far. Some may call this “dry humor.” I feel they are a bit different.
    This has opened my eyes to search my own heart and bring awareness to my family. Teasing can cause hurt, shame, insecurity and much more. Something that just came to me… Teasing can also bring sexual harassments. It’s justified by “just teasing” so it’s overlooked.
    Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading, engaging, and sharing Allison! Yes, if we are trying to love another but not really seeking to speak their love language, only to communicate the exact opposite, we are actually not even considering the other person. Rather, we are focused on ourselves. Yes, every motive has a spirit behind it. Sarcasm is indeed another excellent example. wow. What a ripple effect!

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