Are you a good listener?
I was just drafting up this post when my husband and I went through an experience of listening. So, hubby if you read this… I’m not posting this in spite of our wonderful conversation this morning. 😉 But, just the opposite… now I’m even more excited about this post! Love you sweetie! Thanks for listening to me this morning!
Friends, I have 2 quotes or sources I’d love to share with you on listening…
Here’s the first…
Listening is the greatest gift a life coach can give to a leader. The leader talks and the coach listens 80% of the time. Bottom line: If you are talking, you are not listening.
5 ways to listen: with your mind, with your body, with your words, with your intuition, with the Holy Spirit. (If you have no idea, what you are going to say, you are in the best place. Do not rush to share your insights.)
Ways to listen better: To their situation, their behaviours, their emotions…
Encourage, Restate, Summarize, Clarify, Acknowledge.
Three Levels of Listening:
Level One – Internal
Level Two – Focused
Level Three – You and Them Together… You and them together… Looking together at their world.
“You cannot teach a man anything. You can help him discover it within himself.” – Galileo
(Source: Keith E Webb, The COACH Model)
Here’s my second source on the topic of listening…
Listening as Spiritual Hospitality
To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.
Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.
(Source: Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey)
How well do you listen to others around you? Let you and I be intentional about listening. Our lives will be enriched as our relationships grow and become richer because we seek first to understand, giving others a chance to be heard, and validated. Then, and only then, may a door be opened to lovingly coach them. (More on coaching for another post…)
Ready? Seek to listen today…