How do you grieve the unfaithfulness of loved ones?

How do you grieve the unfaithfulness of loved ones?
A friend, community… you name it…?

💔

Good memories are painful… they haunt you… you don’t know what to do with them. How do you grieve over a once faithful but then turned hurtful inner community…? How do you grieve over the betrayal of a small circle within a community once loved and trusted, fasted for, prayed for…

…friends, leaders, mentors…

…who once were devoted encouragers and cheerleaders with pom moms… now with daggers by tongue? Some who have admitted envy and jealousy…

I am fiercely loyal and I am like a warrior for others. So, when those I once fought for, prayed for… resorted to attack because I had not met their expectations, which they failed to communicate directly to my face… ugh… I just wanted my aching heart to stop…

When your heart is broken, you rest in the arms of Jesus.

How I wish those I loved in community would have been loving to the end…

Not everyone was hurtful, thankfully …but of a few, I discovered painful stories behind closed doors of ones I thought loved me well as I did them. I learned they didn’t have the courage to seek to understand, but only to assume incorrectly and attack… and tear a community apart.

The hurtful attack didn’t stop… it became a toxic, abusive community… and my body crashed. It said, ‘enough is enough’. My doctor ordered me far away.

Blame, lying, hiding… it felt like Part 2 of the Garden.
How dangerous one mindset can become… to affect an entire family.

My heart became wounded. I ached. We were once a fruitful family… hearing God’s voice together, bringing freedom and healing to others together… Now, it was all brokenness.

Betrayal is so hard from those you deeply trusted and respected and loved.

John 17 is Jesus’ prayer for us…
He prayed for our unity, for our family love…
and yet some of us have been hurt the deepest by ‘church family’…

I am reminded of the betrayal Jesus went through by his own family and disciples… for our sake! … Timely, as it is Lent season now that I write this. I am reminded in Matthew 24 that it is the sign of the times…

And this too was timely…

It is a beautiful thing to adopt many of David’s Psalms for prayers… I’m so glad David was so blunt and raw and called a man after God’s own heart. Oh Lord, have mercy.

Helping the Hurting

I’m realizing as we head home from a week vacation… My list of those who are ill, hurting, dying or who are walking loved ones through terminal illness seems to be growing. I’m reminded of when Jesus wept over Lazarus. When I get home and out of this can of (loving and adorable) sardines, first thing I’m doing is heading off alone to pray. I need to surrender and remember that I can’t provide pastoral care on my own strength. It’s futile. It’s stupid. It’s irresponsible. It’s arrogant. There’s nothing I can give from myself that is helpful. I must empty me of me and ask daily for the Spirit to fill me and flow through me to those who need Him. Only He can satisfy and sustain through the trying times. Praise God! We are not alone nor expected to exist alone. What mercy and grace is ours! But, it requires surrender.

A Person Who Means The Most To Us, Grieves With Us

Henri Nouwen wrote, “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”