Are you suffering on the inside?


There are 4 traditional approaches to discipleship that actually lead to bondage:

Osmosis: Get people to attend church and serve faithfully.

Academics: Teach information about the faith.

Behaviour: Establish performance expectations for church members.

Church: Train people to invite others, serve, and join a small group. 

These 4 things above may have good elements but without an actual relationship with Jesus, you will soon feel like an imposter or impersonator – you look like Him but you don’t actually know Him. You most likely become stuck in perfectionism, anxiety, legalism and other bondage.

While traditional discipleship tends to focus on the outside, heart-focused discipleship deals with what is going on inside of you!

Following Jesus is about relationship!
It starts with hearing His voice. 🙂 

This is one of my favourite things to do… I love introducing ‘church’ people to Jesus! I coach people who are stuck in legalistic bondage and into truly hearing Jesus and knowing Him.

Happy to help you…


(4 elements above adapted from: Marcus Warner)

My journey as a Christian Life Coach and Spiritual Director in Canada

person-walking-on-the-mountain-pathMy journey so far as a Christian Life Coach and Spiritual Director in Canada has been FAR FROM BORING.

Each day I feel like I’m walking the Emmaus Road with Jesus and my clients. 😀

I was recently asked how I got into this journey…

Throughout my life I have noticed that people have come to seek my perspective.

When I was resting from 10 years of institutional church pastoral ministry, I remember people coming to bless and encourage me. However, soon the conversation would shift. We would crack open God’s Word and bam – tears and healing would occur… in my guests! I could not believe it…

(Tears and healing happened for me too …often just the day before …because I too had been pressing into the Lord. I often wondered if God’s presence was simply lingering and they would step into that too.)

It definitely was an encouragement to see that when we are weak, God is strong.

(I had been recovering from a nervous system crash due to some trauma and so I felt pretty wimpy.)

On the very last day of my 2 years paid rest leave (it took that much time to walk and talk again normally), I told God, “Thank you for your incredible provision (of healing and His presence). I’m ready for whatever you have next.” I sat on top of a hiking hill path sitting on a rock in the sun with the Lord when I said that. It was a Good Friday. 🙂 Then, I turned back down the hill and ran into a couple who God had introduced me to years before. We hugged and prayed for each other. Just days later they invited me to join their ministry team as a Life Coach and Spiritual Director.

God sends me people who need guidance spiritually and in the natural (practical strategies). I have taken my training in numerous places – like a smorgasbord of tools to use. Yet, mostly what I rely on is my own relationship and experience with Holy Spirit and testing it according to God’s Word. Knowing Him personally and knowing His Truth has always been the key.

Each person who I meet with is on a unique path.

Psalms 143:10 was a key passage shared in our recent staff meeting…

Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.

God’s spirit leads us for each person we walk with. His wisdom, mercy, grace, and compassion for each of my clients impacts us both every time.

If you’re looking for a Christian Life Coach and Spiritual Director in Canada, or across the border, to discover what firm footing He has for you too…

Learn more about my coaching services at: and where you can read testimonials.

How can you tell if the enemy (has even subtly) gotten a foothold in your life?


(I was asked this question yesterday by my students just before leading an interactive group coaching class online…)

I first pointed them to Ephesians 4.

Take a moment today to read it. I’ve seen the enemy get a foothold in people’s lives WAY too may times – as this passage explains.

Secondly, read 1 Corinthians 13.

If you find it difficult to put your name in the place of ‘love’, that is a GREAT indicator.

Thirdly, read Galatians 5.

If something jumps out in conviction for you there, listen to Holy Spirit…

Ask God, where you need to repent, forgive, etc.

Invite Holy Spirit to come and fill you to lead you in the way God has for you instead!

“16 But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” – 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Three Main Blocks to Your Healing and Freedom


As I walk with people, I have noticed 3 major blocks to healing and freedom. These 3 main blocks are like umbrellas that cover us and keep us from truth raining down to seep into our heads and hearts.

Instead, they cover us in lies…

Here are the 3 main blocks:

Pride. : We then become self-serving, self- preserving, and self-exalting. Examples: proud of our sexual orientation, our countries (nationalism), even our church denominations (building our own kingdoms rather than God’s). It all leads to idolatry and slavery, not freedom. Pride is often a strong indicator of our deep hurt or fear. We instead need healing and deliverance.

Prejudice. : We have made up our minds before we hear facts. We are narrow, arrogant and destructive in our thinking.

Preconception. : We think we know something and presume a clear picture in our heads.

How to test if you are stuck in these?

a.) If you are agitated by any of these listed above, you probably operate in these strongholds.

b.) If you do not experience love, joy, peace, patience etc… but instead anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy or envy, you probably have one of these strongholds.

These 3 major strongholds will continue to block healing and freedom in your life.

Ask yourself:

-What have these 3 blocks done to my relationships?
-How have they affected how I feel about myself?

Ask God:  

-What do you say about me and my situation?
-What good thing do you want to give me in my life instead of these blocks that are stealing, killing, and destroying me?

*Make sure your answers agree with the Word of God from the Bible and with God’s heart of compassion for you.

How do you dismantle these blocks or strongholds?

1.) Humble yourself. Surrender your heart, will, mind, and emotions to God – the source of love, healing and freedom. (James 4:10).

2.) Repent. Tell God – “I need you God. Apart from you, I am nothing. I choose to turn from these lies. I nail them to the cross and I turn to you Jesus. I want to receive instead your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness etc – all the fruits of your Spirit. (John 10:10; John 15; Galatians 5; 1 John 1:9).

3.) Replace lies with God’s Truth. Jesus is the Truth. Invite Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth to come and fill you and replace the lies. Read His Word to get to know who God is and how He loves you. He desires you to be free! So much so, He sent Jesus to die and defeat your sin, death, sorrows and weaknesses. (John 3:16; John 14; Isaiah 53).

Stuck and need help walking through this?

I’d be honoured to help you see what rich inheritance God has for you instead!

Learn more…

Am I Being Deceived?


This past year, I had the joy of walking with a woman coming out of the New Age movement. In fact, she had once been a New Age teacher. We started with Scriptures in our sessions and took our time before we began asking Jesus questions. Her heart now was so beautifully hungry and thirsty for Truth instead of where the other road had led her to. What Jesus did for her was beautiful. She was set free!

On the other extreme, around the same time, I also walked with a woman so hard on rules from a very religious church tradition and who had very little openness to Holy Spirit. Yet, Jesus led us through healing to remove those blocks and she too experienced some incredible freedom!

We are to worship God in BOTH SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH.

“For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” – John 4:24 NLT

If we worship God without Spirit, we become legalistic, religious Pharisees.

If we worship with spirit and NO Truth, we go down the road of the New Age.

See both extremes??

Here are some things to remember with Biblical interpretation:

1.  The Holy Spirit bears witness within when you hear the truth – The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, Who proceeds from the Father, will cause a witness within your heart when you hear truth (Jn. 15:26,27)

2. The Holy Spirit guides you into truth – The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, guides you into all the truth, disclosing things of the Father to you (Jn. 16:13-15).

If you have and keep God’s commandments, you love God, and are loved by God, and God will abide with you and disclose Himself to you through the working of the Holy Spirit, Who will teach you all things (Jn. 14:21,23,26).

3. You will only see what you can handle – God will only reveal to you what you are able to bear. There is more to say to you, but He will wait until you can bear it (Jn. 16:12).

4. You cannot interpret the Bible on your own – Know that apart from Jesus you can do nothing, which includes interpreting the Bible correctly (Jn. 15:5).

5. Pray for God to open your heart – Pray that God opens your heart to respond to Him, and the hearts of those to whom you preach to respond to your preaching (Acts 16:14).

Excerpt above from the short ebook by Mark Virkler…

Am I Being Deceived? (You can click to view a free pdf version below the book.)

If you are stuck in one of these extremes, (religious bondage or spiritual deception), perhaps I can help. Learn more here.

God, our Almighty Nurturer and Protector (Mother’s Day)

baby and eagle

Today, going over this message I once gave on Mother’s Day in 2015 blew me away… I needed to read this once again… to see the way God has THE BEST MOTHER HEART (He created mothers after all!!)

Maybe you need this today too…?

(I changed some of the language to reflect that it’s now 2020 and no longer 2015 but I may have missed spots.)

The original audio version is at the very bottom of this page.

Text below…

God, our Almighty Nurturer and Protector
Merri Ellen Giesbrecht
Originally presented on: May 10, 2015

Topic: Mother’s Day

Texts: Isaiah 46:3-4; Isaiah 49:15; Isaiah 66:13; 2 Cor 1:3,4; Psalm 91:4; Psalm 57:1; Deuteronomy 32:10-11

Theme: God is our Almighty Nurturer and Protector

My Aim: I pray you may know that God is like a protective mother and He longs to have you come and nestle into His lap, to draw nourishment from him, to learn to soar under His wings and to catch you when you fall. I pray you may notice and receive God’s loving nurture and to be motivated to show His love to others.

Key words: Nurturer and Protector

Visuals: 2 buckets, shield, rocking chair, baby bottle, picture of an eagle

Intro: One summer my parents asked their neighbour to water their garden while they were on vacation. The neighbour would come in the early evening and turn on the garden hose and was then to return sometime later to turn it off. One night, he forgot to turn off the hose. Thankfully the house was not next to the garden or there would have been a flooded basement. The only result my parents saw was a summer of enormous carrots and zucchinis and tomatoes… and they feasted as a result.

This message was one God had been preaching to me for several months in 2015. It had been so powerful for me, it felt like God left on the garden hose. I have 2 buckets (2 themes) to share with you what I noticed… My prayer is that the fruit of God’s message to me will not only bring me nourishment but you as well.

Bucket Number 1.
God is our Almighty Nurturer; El Shaddai. (He nourishes us.)

One day in 2015 while praying, God reminded me of a childhood memory…

When I was 11 years old, I was asked to speak in my home church on Mother’s Day. It was a small church in the Canadian prairies. Our pastor may have thought I’d give a tribute to my mother. (Which makes me giggle now seeing as I was a strong-willed child. Perhaps this was his way of making me say ‘thank you’ to my mom publicly in the midst of her ongoing parenting battles. My mom deserves a medal. I love her so much. She’s been my primary example of God’s nurturing heart to me.)

This time in front of my church family, I felt a nudge to speak on the nurturing heart of God and how we see a picture of His loving care through the gift of motherhood…and yet how He cares for us all and calls all of us to share His care with others.

After I shared my bit as a little girl, later I spoke to a woman in a wheel chair. She couldn’t speak and once was a powerful, energetic missionary for many years in Madagascar. Lillian was a part of my church fellowship in Saskatchewan now being cared for by a Care Giver named Delinda. Lillian was one of my prayer warriors who faithfully prayed for me. I knew this. Yet, never had the joy of conversation with her. I only met her when she was in this wheel chair, paralyzed, and without speech due to a virus she contracted in the jungles of Madagascar. When I see her in heaven, I can’t wait to visit with her!

On that particular day, I went to Lillian after feeling the nudge. I leaned down and whispered in her ear: “Happy Mother’s Day Lillian! I know you don’t have biological children of your own but I know you were a mother to many!” I was not ready for the emotion and flood of tears that came from her face. Delinda later said that it was the best thing I could have said to her. Years later, after I have discipled hundreds of children myself along with their parents, I can imagine why!

How wonderful that we love, serve and worship a God who is so compassionate. And we are created in His image.

Today is Mother’s Day and yes, we get to honour our mothers. Yet, we honour mothers only because we love, serve and worship God who is loving and compassionate like a Mother.

God gives us the gift of motherhood and He gives all of us the ability to share His compassionate and nurturing heart with others.

What a beautiful thing to ponder that God would call a woman who would never bare children of her own and turn her into a mother of many in the jungles of Madascar. Who knows what all He did through Lillian! And talk about His mercy, to nudge me as an 11 year old little girl to speak to a woman confined to her wheelchair. But, I see that she needed to hear …from a child, an intentional ‘thank you’, much like we parents love it when our children thank us and return our love, as well as a ‘thank you’ from God, Almighty who called her as a missionary in the first place.

God, who is called El Shaddai…

‘El’ means Almighty and Shaddai’ is a word that draws a picture of what happens in the very back of a nursing room where moms go and feed their babies. God is our Shaddai – He nourishes us like a mom feeds her baby. He is our Almighty Nurturer. He gives us safe nourishment.

God’s parental tenderness is beautifully expressed in the picture of motherhood.

Let me show you from the Word…

Isaiah 66:13 (ERV)

“I will comfort you like a mother comforting her child.

You will be comforted in Jerusalem.”


Psalm 131:2,3 (NLT)

“I have calmed and quieted myself,

    like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.

    Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—

    now and always.”


My son one day was giving me one of his wonderful hugs and he said to me: “Mom, I love the place in your arms.”

God longs for us to say the same to Him. He invites us to nestle into His arms and to receive His goodness, His nourishment, His love.


Isaiah 49:15 (NLT)

“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?

    Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?

But even if that were possible,

    I would not forget you!”


“Jesus refers to His deep compassion for us by using the metaphor of Himself as a mother hen.”- Dr Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages


 Matthew 23:37  (ERV)

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You kill the prophets. You stone to death those that God has sent to you. Many, many times I wanted to help your people. I wanted to gather them together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. But you did not let me.”


God sends us messengers to show His love and compassion much like He did for Israel, and too often we aren’t listening – in fact – it’s possible to cut off the messenger! We know that in some parts of the world, prophets today are being killed. Are you listening for His message?

Do you read His Word daily so you can hear His voice? Or do you kill His voice in your life by never opening His Word, and choosing something else to fill your mind? Or maybe you are quicker to choose entertainment before you ever read His Word. God Almighty longs to speak to us and yet, we often shut Him up.

Yet, notice how God loves and longs to carry us through all stages of our life! Whether we have no hair, tons of hair, grey hair, or no hair…


Isaiah 46:3-4 (ERV)

“Family, listen! I have carried you since you left your mother’s womb. I carried you when you were born, and I will still be carrying you when you are old. Your hair will turn gray, and I will still carry you. I made you, and I will carry you to safety.”


In God’s incredible power, He even uses our troubling stages of life to bring comfort to others. In fact, I have found that those who have experienced the most hardship are the ones whose compassion runs the deepest. Once we come to the end of ourselves, we can certainly be used by God, for His glory.

Years ago, I had one terrible viral infection which affected my ability to focus. I couldn’t even focus my mind enough to read a book. I slept lots and when I didn’t sleep, I stared out the window. I was in bed for 10 days from April 13-23, 2015.

My oldest son asked me how I was feeling and I was lamenting that I was feeling terrible and to top it off, it was so gorgeous out. It was baseball weather and I longed to be playing ball! He then tells me that maybe Jesus wants to use this…that Jesus can take the worst things and turn them into something great. J This as many of you know, is MY HOPE CHILD whose birth brought me hope and protection during a very difficult time in my life! Then he says, “I think your son just preached you a good sermon.” I stood in shock and then gave him the biggest hug. God spoke to me through him in that moment. God used my own son to bring me comfort. That was the Holy Spirit at work in my own son!

My son’s words reminded me of one of my favourite passages when the Apostle Paul himself felt at the end of his rope…in a much greater desperation than any viral infection could give…


2 Cor 1:3-4 ERV

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Father who is full of mercy, the God of all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble so that when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.”


We can comfort others because God comforts us.

Again, God’s parental tenderness is beautifully expressed in the picture of motherhood. And as I just illustrated, parents can equally be blessed by God’s compassion through their children. The Holy Spirit does not discriminate.  I recall once listening to a man who is called on to do peace and reconciliation between countries and parties who are killing each other. His wife is a Kindergarten teacher and he often goes and sits in her class to be blessed by the children. I can relate. Young children bring us comfort.

Here are some questions for you to ponder…

Reflective Q:

How do you need to invite Jesus to be your El Shaddai, your Almighty Nurturer this morning?


Where in your life do you need His comfort and care?

Or who in your life desperately needs His comfort and care?

And how is God calling you to show His love and care to them?




Bucket Number 1.
God is our Almighty Nurturer; El Shaddai. (He longs to gather us in His arms, comfort and nourish us.)

Now for…

Bucket Number 2.
God is our Protector (He Gives us the shelter of His Wings)

Beginning in February 2015, God had been preaching to me this 2nd theme…

It seemed that every conversation I had with women in that time, there was grief, despair, illness, anxiety, depression… it became overwhelming… I would go off and pray calling out to God for help, for strength… I love to pray outside in God’s creation…it’s where I feel closest to Him – away from distraction. Over and over I would see eagles flying. By the 3rd or 4th time, I finally clued in and asked God what I could learn from this. Many of you already know where this is going…

All through Scripture, you’ll see a theme, a phrase describing God like an eagle who shelters us with His wings… (feel free to jot down the references if you wish as I will be listing a few off…)

Psalm 17:8 (ESV)

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.”


Ruth 2:12 (NIV)

“May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”


Psalm 36:7 (NIV)

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.”


Psalm 57:1 (NIV)

“When David had fled from King Saul into the cave. Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.”


Psalm 63:7 (NIV)

“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.”


Psalm 91:4 (NIRV)

“He will cover you with his wings.

    Under the feathers of his wings you will find safety.

    He is faithful. He will keep you safe like a shield or a tower.”



Through Scripture, God is pictured as an eagle with wings that provide safety and protection.

God was reminding me that He was covering me and women around me, my sisters in Christ. He was saying, “I’ve got you covered.”

The passage that stood out the most for me was…


Deuteronomy 32:10-11 (NiRV)

“The Lord found Israel in a desert.

    He found them in an empty and windy land.

He took care of them and kept them safe.

    He guarded them as he would guard his own eyes.

He was like an eagle that stirs up its nest.”

    It hovers over its little ones.

It spreads out its wings to catch them.

    It carries them up in the air on its feathers.”


You’ll notice something incredible in this passage. Not only is it a reminder of God’s love for wandering and complaining Israel who got themselves lost in a desert on a journey that could’ve taken only 40 days but instead took 40 years because they did not fully trust God’s navigational skills… You’ll notice how it applies to you and I.

The eagle’s care for her young is a beautiful picture of Christ’s love, who spread out His wings on the cross, who came to bare your sins and mine in his own body, who swept down and caught us when we were falling.

You and I left the nest and He caught us when we fell. 700 years before Christ came to rescue us…

Isaiah wrote chapter 40- which starts off with… “Comfort, oh comfort my people…” and ends with this…in verse 31…


“Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

    They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

    They will walk and not faint.”


Through the Good News and by the power of the Holy Spirit who is called our Comforter, He is here, so that you and I fly free – if we fully put our trust in Him, allowing His wings to cover …to comfort and to rescue us. Because of Him, we find safety and triumph, and we are able to fly above the world on his back and not fall into it. God offers us this protection daily …through the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.

Jesus asked the Father to send us the Comforter to be with us forever.


John 14:16 (ASV)
“And I will pray to the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you forever.”


Reflective Qs:

  • In what way do you need to ask God for His safety and protection? For yourself or someone you love?
  • What is God speaking to you? As I’m teaching from the Word, are there people or situations that come to mind? What is He saying?
  • Maybe you need protection from a bully, or protection in a work place situation, or protection on a difficult health journey, protection over your failing finances, a failing relationship, over a wandering loved one…


I invite you to pray and truly turn your house into a House of Prayer – either asking God for more of His nurturing compassion or more of His safety and protection – for yourself and for your loved ones. Those of you who are visual, may want to picture yourself or your loved one – with one of these objects (a shield, rocking chair, baby bottle, picture of an eagle.) Then trust in the Word of God, His promises to give nurture and protection.

Pray – with 1 or 2 others, or pray on your own. Be okay with awkward silence. Just listen for God’s nudging. Be okay with not even saying a word if you feel out of your element today. That’s okay. You belong today. Others around you can pray…simply let their prayers comfort your own heart… Gather this morning in His arms, and under the shelter of His wings.

Dear friends, you are beautiful. You are mighty warriors this morning. You are family. We belong together under His wings.

Picture me right now with my hands up high about to pray a blessing over you. May you think of Jesus’ wingspan, His protection, His love on the cross for you!

My closing prayer for you:

I pray that every day you would trust in the Lord and find His new strength. That you would know this soaring high on wings like eagles. That you would so trust in His strength and comfort, that you will run without growing weary, you will walk and not faint, because you weren’t relying only on your human weakness.

I pray that you would stay close to our El Shaddai, our Almighty Nurturer, feasting on His Presence all through the stages of your life and nestling in close to His chest for comfort, from no hair, to grey hair, to no hair again!

…and then I pray, that you may share His love and protection with those He brings into your nest, into your area of influence. May the world be drawn to His love and protection because of you! I pray this over you, my brothers and sisters, in the name of Jesus, Amen!

Listen to original audio here:

What does it take for you to grow?

As I meet with my Life Coaching clients, I notice that some lives transform faster than others. Lately, the Lord has been waking me up at 4:33am, 4:11am…

The theme God keeps growing in me is this…

Planting His seeds (His wisdom, revelation, healing…)

…requires first a healthy heart soil (healed heart)
…and a renewed mind.

Trying to plant seeds without good soil (healed heart and a renewed mind), won’t lead to healthy growth.

I drew 2 pictures for you…! 😀

Check them out… Picture #1:

soil to grow1

Picture #2:

Then, out comes the growth and fruit all from abiding in Jesus who is the True Vine (not to mention the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6)! And Father God is the Gardener. (John 15:1-2), while Holy Spirit is the Living Water! (John 7:37-39)

Pretty amazing that all 3 beings of the Trinity is carefully attending to your growth – IF you let them. 😀

Look below… (I should have added water being poured out and into the root system to represent Holy Spirit’s living water…)

IMG_4847 2

Therefore… 😀

Together, on this journey… (Pause and reflect on this.)

  • We invite Jesus to heal our hearts.
  • We read the written Word for our minds to be renewed.
  • In order to receive God’s wisdom and revelation. (Ephesians 1:17-20)

This picture has come to me over and over…!

As you look at this picture and reflect on the Scripture passages, what is God speaking to you?

  • Ask Him: Lord, how would you like to heal my heart today?
  • Ask Him: Lord, what do you want to show me from these passages? (See references and go treasure hunting!)
  • Ask Him: Lord, if I were to invite your healing power, and your Divine wisdom and revelation in my life this week, what would shift for me?

Enjoy this exercise and share your findings in the comments below… 🙂

And if you’d like to join me on this journey with my group coaching circle, learn more here. (New circles are starting seasonally!)

Women, have you been silenced?


silence-001My heart loves to walk with women who have been silenced.

Why? Because their voice holds a key to healing – their own healing and the healing of MANY others.

I have been coaching people since 2003 online in over 120 countries. I especially love walking women through this journey of being silenced.

If that’s you, I’d be honoured to meet with you.

To learn more, visit:

Your church is shut down – due to virus. Now what?


Photo by Jesse Yelin from Pexels

What do you do when your church is shut down due to the Corona virus or persecution?

The systems may crash, but…

There is actually new opportunity! I see the church shifting in beautiful ways…

***This link below was originally posted in Feb 2018.

Notice the title of the post?

Since the Corona Virus, this has become even more valuable to use in BEing the Church… (and you can EASILY do this interactively via phone or video chat during quarantine as I have been doing with my fellowship groups.)

This is Contagious but in a GREAT way!

A Pastor’s Confession

Because of Jesus ... I Am FreeThis is my confession.

I’m sorry… To all the people who I once pastored in an institutional church… I am sorry that I didn’t know then what I know now. My church and Bible school experience did not adequately prepare me to walk you to complete freedom in Jesus’ name. Nor did I disciple you how to do what I’m going to share below…

Today, if you read the Gospels and the book of Acts over and over, you most likely will notice that what happened in the Bible, does not happen in the lives of many church goers.

Back in 2016, when I rested from formal pastoral ministry, I began to ask God why the vast difference between what I read in the Bible and what I had experienced so far. I began to ask Him to show me more of who He is… out of the box. (Dangerous prayer. :D) He began to take me on adventures…

Today, my life looks so much different… When I pray, people are healed of cancer,  kidney disease, arthritis, or set free from oppression, from hearing multiple voices, from depression, anxiety, etc… often in a few minutes. 

Why? I pray differently than I was taught. I pray as Jesus did. I join with Jesus in what He is doing.

Miraculous things only happen when His followers step out in faith. I began to worry less about God’s reputation if I prayed and He didn’t come through in the way I prayed. I figured He could handle His own reputation. 😉

This was my past week….

Today, I ran again into the woman I prayed for this year who was healed of cancer. She threw her arms around me with the biggest smile. When I first met her walking on my street, she was discouraged and diagnosed with cancer. Jesus strongly spoke to me to command the cancer to leave her body. It did. We now have interesting conversations about Jesus.

Today, I walked past the house where my 6 year old neighbour was healed of juvenile arthritis after I taught her siblings age 8, 4 and 2 how to command her illness to go in Jesus’ name. The next day she woke up with no pain and now is involved in gymnastics!

One night this week, I prayed with a woman with multiple personality disorder. I led her through praying forgiveness over abusers. She was back to speaking in one personality. She heard Jesus say –  “It is finished!” 

Another night, a woman was delivered from Hindu worship 3,000 years in her family line. She felt anger, hopelessness, and voices laughing at her. She went through repentance of generational worshiping specific Hindu gods, practicing blood sacrifices. She coughed things out. Stuff went 3,000 years back in her bloodline and then she had a vision of Jesus with His arms reaching out and He said the house is clean! We prayed Holy Spirit to fill her and she was overcome with laughter and deep joy! She lingered with Jesus in His glory. She was powerfully transformed!

Another night, I prayed for a woman with chest and shoulder pain. As we prayed, Jesus took her to her childhood at age 3 when anger and bitterness first entered because of her parents’ actions. I led her in forgiving her parents and all the pain was gone! 

Another night, I led a woman through healing of panic attacks. We let Jesus take us to the root issue …all coming from a lie that the enemy told her years ago in a certain situation, that she was not safe. We dealt with that lie at the cross, and Jesus transformed the painful memory. Now, when she thinks of the memory, it’s minuscule and instead she has visioned Jesus there with His arms shielding her. Her panic attacks are now gone.

When I began to cut out relying on merely my familiar church tradition a few years ago, I began to truly grow in my level of faith. Since walking in doing what Jesus did in the Bible, and what He invites me to do, I am discovering what it really means to follow Jesus.

Please forgive me. If I only knew then, what I know and do now… you may be unstuck today.

I invite you to re-read the Gospels and the Book of Acts with fresh eyes, without your glasses of church tradition.

It is a beautiful thing to follow Jesus, not merely believe in His teachings. He walked in the supernatural and then called His followers to do the same. He didn’t command them to walk any different. Jesus didn’t ask us to teach information and that’s it. It’s one thing to believe in Jesus, it’s another to follow Him.

These days, I have the honour of meeting with people who are reaching out and asking for me to lead them through healing and freedom and to disciple them in what I have been learning and doing. They are on fire and hungry for more! Many are prayer walking around churches and neighbourhoods to also join the fire! Will you?! It’s truly amazing! 😀

A few responses below…

“I will not accept the apology because it is not needed, not to me. You did not stop leading and inviting me into deeper relationship with Christ when you left traditional pastoral ministry. I am sorry that this is an accurate representation of the state of my and so many churches and of my own faith experience. I know it isn’t right and yet I dont know how to get out of it. I was struck again by the need we have to see Jesus in action during (Bible Study) this week where we studied Acts and Peter could NOT keep quiet about the things which they had seen Jesus do. I feel like a person who understands Jesus but does not believe in him (not fully it would seem) because believing in something means you go beyond knowing to acting on that knowledge. If I believe that God can save an eternal soul, a physical body should be nothing to him and yet I do not trust enough to pray aloud for that healing because I have not seen it. Thank you that you DO pray this way and that you keep inviting me to see it more for myself… this semester has been hard as my soul cries for THAT Jesus and my time is instead devoted to knowing a Jesus constrained to paper. Please do not apologize but continue to pray – and to act – that I can make the leap of faith to belief that shows in my life, my time, my choices, and my actions if trust in him.”

And another…

“Thanks for sharing your walk with the Lord wherever He leads you and what He is doing in and through you. I’m glad you have found the freedom Christ offers and are sharing it with others. I have never felt lead astray or that you were not meeting any expectation. I have been encouraged by your leadership and enriched by our friendship. Your humble servant attitude is evident and I love that you are allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you and use you to reach out and be God’s hands and feet. Blessings my sweet sister in Christ!” 

And another on a similar journey…

“Makes me think of a vision one lady shared with me- The Lord was leading her down a long hallway of people sitting along the walls and she wanted to stop and help every one! She could see each of their needs clearly! But the Lord said… ‘Don’t!! Don’t even touch a door knob that I don’t specifically instruct you to touch.’ As she neared the end of the hallway she looked back down the hall to see many many behind tending to those she was asked to pass by.  Possibly they are someone else’s assignment!!? Bless your heart … that you would want to make all things right…”

I am blessed by these initial responses. God is stirring! I have released the burden to Jesus – our Ultimate Burden Bearer…

May each of you reading this… listen to His voice and follow Him on sweet adventures He has all planned for you… even it takes you ‘out of the box’! 😀